Nurturing Healthy Self-Esteem

We teach people how to treat us. When we feel worthy and have a healthy sense of self, we communicate to the people in our lives that we expect to be treated with dignity and respect. Cultivating a more positive self-image increases our sense of self-worth, and as a result, helps to determine the kind of treatment we will or will not tolerate from others. This can be an incredibly empowering process.

Negative self-talk keeps us from enjoying self-confidence and self-respect. More often than not, when we speak to ourselves, we do so in a critical tone of voice. Focusing on flaws and weaknesses is a sure way to deflate self-esteem. 

Have you noticed that when you speak with a friend, you are often kinder and more accepting of their shortcomings than you are of your own? Learn to develop internal dialogues similar to the ones you use with your friends. Your self-esteem will flourish when you learn to place less emphasis on what's wrong with you and more emphasis on what's right.

Be kind to you!

Dr. Tami Kulbatski, Psy.D., C.Psych.

www.doctortami.com

Play for Moms?

It is a well-researched fact that when children play, the benefits they enjoy include cognitive, physical and emotional development.  Through playing, children improve their ability to problem-solve, they learn to adjust socially (integrating and communicating with their peers), and as a result, they grow emotionally. 

Throughout the ages, moms have been notorious for neglecting many (if not most) areas of their lives concerning self-care.  While busy caring for children, spouses, work, and domestic responsibilities, most moms dismiss the importance that play can bring to their lives. Much like our children need to play in order to thrive and grow, adults (especially moms) need to focus on “down-time”, “me-time,” and “fun-time” in order to re-energize, relieve stress, connect with friends and flourish emotionally. 

In my private practice, I often assign homework to moms who suffer from “lack-of-play syndrome.”  The homework entails carving out regular periods throughout the week for play.  This can include any activities that bring you joy, such as playing a team sport, solving crossword puzzles, or building a snowman.  Many moms resist this assignment because they feel guilty depriving their children of their presence.  “After all,” I often hear my clients say, “My mom never had to take time for herself.”  When moms (especially those who have daughters) don’t make adult playtime a priority, they not only fail to recharge and avoid burn-out, but they miss a crucial opportunity to model healthy behaviour to their daughters.    To protect your daughter from these very struggles you are facing when she becomes a mom, break the cycle, and start playing today.  Give your children the gift of an energetic and healthy grown-up that they can one day emulate. 

Now get out there and have fun!

Dr. Tami Kulbatski, Psy.D., C.Psych.